Another day, another street harassment experience


This has happened to me a few nights ago. Friday night, I went out with a few friends in one of the bars in our campus. Everything went quite smoothly until we decided to go to the shop. One of my friends was in the shop while I was waiting outside. I caught his eye and I started waving at him. In front of me, there was a group of Uni LADS, probably about six of them. They thought it would be a great idea to wave back at me, try to high-5 me and even hug me. I got pretty scared, so I tried to avoid them in horror. I kind of run away in order to keep away from them. My reaction unleashed the hell of swearing and harassment: “You fucking slut. Suck me! What a fucking slut!” and so on.

Excuse my incapacity to understand this, but why was I slut? Because I avoided to high-5 and hug a group of six strange men, who thought I was public property. Do I have a social obligation to hug groups of men when they think I wave at them? Am I forced by some kind of social constraint I did not know about? Did I sign up for something at birth when it turned out I was a female? So if I do not respect this apparent obligation of mine, it seems that I should be punished and shouted at in the middle of the campus, through humiliation and slut-calling.

My mind really cannot comprehend this event and there is nothing on earth that can make me understand why those men thought I was supposed to pay attention to their stupidity. Why?

P.S. Do you share any similar experiences?

7 thoughts on “Another day, another street harassment experience

  1. I always say I prefer to go anywhere with someone, at, I always have someone by my side and I sincerely prefer a man. When I walk the streets with my boyfriend/father/brother/friend no one says a word to me, no one I swear. Don’t get me started on how nasty things can get when I walk alone or with a female friend. I feel safe with a man by my side and I’m not embarrassed to admit it, because I’d rather be accused of being anti-feminist or dependent than suffer such an encounter or even a worse one, which would not be statistically so rare. I’m sorry for you and I hope you are OK, no nightmares etc ;)

    • Elena, I think it says more about our society than your stance on feminism that you prefer going out in public with a man than alone. It’s really sad, and it says a lot about how women (and men as authority figures) are thought of, that women often can’t feel safe without the protective presence of a man. If you are dependent on men in any way, it’s because society requires it by making you feel unsafe alone.

      Madalina, that must have been such a horrible experience. Those men are morons, and I’m sorry you had to go through that. I’ve never had anything like that happen to me, thank goodness. I’ve been whistled at and felt up on the subway, but never been called nasty names. I hope you’re alright!

  2. I really hate walking alone as a female for this reason. I’m sorry you had to go through the harassment. It just goes to show the nature of catcallers and people who yell things at you on the street—they are not there to flatter you, they are calling at you because they have control of the situation, and when you ignore them they bother you even more. I hate this.

  3. Pingback: Dear Men, I’m Sorry for Thinking that You’re Rapists « Confessions of a Latte Liberal

  4. Okay where to start….
    Your grammar/spelling is atrocious and your story is round about and hard to get any real understanding from.
    Now to the obvious you are in a college town in the bar area surrounded by drunk horny young guys. This does not condone their behavior in response that was out of line, no question about it.
    However what the hell was up with your response. These drunk idiots obviously thought you were waving at them and were showing them attention. They gave it back like drunken rowdy idiots.
    Now what I find and issue the guys obviously got the wrong signal so why not just high five away, and make it known the hugs were not wanted? Instead you got scared and ran away… Seriously that in itself would have put anyone off and made them feel insulted. Again it does not justify their actions but yours were pretty off as well.
    None of this has to do with you being property or anything of the such you were out drinking in a college town. I mean young dumb kids driven by hormones drinking and looking for sex, being rowdy and overly friendly is something that tends to happen in these situations. If you were uncomfortable why not speak up and walk in the store. Why did you not walk in the store to begin with if this is something you fear? I mean seriously bashing men over drunken college kids is off.

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